Meditation on breathing

I have a habit of cut and paste what I have written in Buddhist forum, just to log them basically. This is another short one on meditation, with focus on the breathe.

We can just observe the breathing continuously, especially when it is boring, because if there is still boredom in meditation, our minds are not calm yet - still monkey minds. But also, when we feel happy just to observe the breathing (or lack of it) and don't want to do anything else, it is probably a good time to start using the concentrated minds to do some real work (i.e. proper vipassana/ seeing nature of samsara, which can be done in several ways).

Meditation...external and internal worlds

When we go about our daily living, we try to find some exciting things to do, some fun parties somewhere during weekends, and memorable experiences when we visit foreign countries and talk to people who have been through certain amusements. When we go to work, we want progress, progress and more progress.

When we meditate, we also naturally want to experience something mystical. And sometimes we do experience something we have never experienced before, and we want more of it. That creates goals and expectations. If we read about certain attainments and stages of samadhi, we want to experience them. That also create goals and expectations in meditation.

Experiences both inside and outside of the mind are the same. They share the same characteristics - anicca, dukkha, anatta. So we can look at the external world in the same way as internal world, as the world of samsara. And do so objectively.

We are conditioned to create goals and expectations, and want to experience "wow" feelings both externally and internally. We carry our expectations that we normally have of the external world into our meditation practice. So it's difficult to be totally relaxed about it, and have no expectation when we start learning to meditate. That is normal. But as time goes by, we should find that in order to calm the mind, we simply ....sit. If we go on to vipassana, we simply observe and investigate. That's all.

Long forgotten memories

Sometime ago (actually, decades ago), I sat meditate and had a strange experience. It was nothing magic, just an experience that I never had since I was about 3-5 years old. When I was young and had fever, I used to have "nightmare" of floating in black space, and I would cry. That was a long forgotten memory.

In that meditation session, I experienced the same thing again. Only that I was in my 20s then, and did not see it as a "nightmare". Strange, though. The experience came in meditation, not in dream, but it was exactly the same. In a way, I still wonder how many long-forgotten funny memories that may creep up in meditation again...

The mind knows itself...(Ajahn Chah)

From Ajahn Chah's "A Path to Peace (2)"

... In its natural state, the mind is the same - in it, there exists no loving or hating, nor does it seek to blame other people. It is independent, existing in a state of purity that is truly clear, radiant and untarnished. In its pure state, the mind is peaceful, without happiness or suffering - indeed, not experiencing any vedana (feeling) at all. This is the true state of the mind. The purpose of the practice, then, is to seek inwardly, searching and investigating until you reach the original mind. The original mind is also known as the pure mind. The pure mind is the mind without attachment. It doesn't get affected by mind-objects. In other words, it doesn't chase after the different kinds of pleasant and unpleasant mind-objects. Rather, the mind is in a state of continuous knowing and wakefulness - thoroughly mindful of all it is experiencing. When the mind is like this, no pleasant or unpleasant mind-objects it experiences will be able to disturb it. The mind doesn't 'become' anything. In other words, nothing can shake it. The mind knows itself as pure. It has evolved its own, true independence; it has reached its original state. How is it able to bring this original state into existence? Through the faculty of mindfulness wisely reflecting and seeing that all things are merely conditions arising out of the influence of elements, without any individual being controlling them. This is how it is with the happiness and suffering we experience. When these mental states arise, they are just 'happiness' and 'suffering'. There is no owner of the happiness. The mind is not the owner of the suffering - mental states do not belong to the mind. Look at it for yourself. In reality these are not affairs of the mind, they are separate and distinct. Happiness is just the state of happiness; suffering is just the state of suffering. You are merely the knower of these. In the past, because the roots of greed, hatred and delusion already existed in the mind, whenever you caught sight of the slightest pleasant or unpleasant mind-object, the mind would react immediately - you would take hold of it and have to experience either happiness or suffering. You would be continuously indulging in states of happiness and suffering. That's the way it is as long as the mind doesn't know itself - as long as it's not bright and illuminated The mind is not free. It is influenced by whatever mind-objects it experiences. In other words, it is without a refuge, unable to truly depend on itself. You receive a pleasant mental impression and get into a good mood. The mind forgets itself.

In contrast, the original mind is beyond good and bad. This is the original nature of the mind. If you feel happy over experiencing a pleasant mind-object, that is delusion. If you feel unhappy over experiencing an unpleasant mind-object, that is delusion. Unpleasant mind objects make you suffer and pleasant ones make you happy - this is the world. Mind-objects come with the world. They are the world. They give rise to happiness and suffering, good and evil, and everything that is subject to impermanence and uncertainty. When you separate from the original mind, everything becomes uncertain - there is just unending birth and death, uncertainty and apprehensiveness, suffering and hardship, without any way of halting it or bringing it to cessation. This is the endless round of rebirth...